[Yodle Fanfare] Mr. Tall Tales Master, fellow Toastmasters, and most honored guests, it was the College Summer Break of 1978, as my beloved Bobbie Jo Soppleweed and I were gazing upon the Beautiful, Majestic, Swiss Alps. And we watched as Lemuel Von Doodlesdorf, professional rock climber, and yoddler, began his rocky ascension up one of the jagged mountains of the Swiss Alps to reach the summit.
Von Doodlesdorf took one deep breath [yoddles] and began climbing. And he got up to 1000 feet, when he came to this walkway, and he decided to walk it for awhile; but he did not know that the walkway was very icy and slippery, and so he slipped, and began to slide down the mountain in a sitting position! "Oo-oo-ow-ee-ow-ow! Oo-oo-ow-ee-ow-ow!" and he came to this long drop [falling sound effect]! Immediately a St. Bernard Rescue Dog came to Von Doodledorf's aid.
"I don't know how anyone could survive a fall like that" I told Bobbie Jo. But, lo and behold, Von Doodlesdorf did survive, and he sprang to his feet, took one deep breath again [yoddles], and began climbing again. This time he came within 200 feet of the summit, without slipping on that very same icy trail like he did before. And he decided to take a breather at that point, but he did not see a ram jumping out from the rocks behind him. And that ram lowered his horns, and began charging, and we yelled "Look out Von Doodlesdorf" [impact sound effect] --too late! "Oo-oo-ow-ee-ow-ow! Oo-oo-ow-ee-ow-ow!" [falling sound effect]. And again, the St. Bernard came to the rescue, and surely enough, he was back on his feet, one more time [Agonizing yoddle], and this time he got within 100 feet of the summit. And he spotted that very same ram that butted him of the mountain the second time, and Von Doodledorf vowed to get even [sinister laugh]. So he snuck up behind the ram togive it a good swift kick off the mountainside, but as Von Doodledorf 's foot went flying up towards the ram, the ram jumped up to the rocky ledge above him [baaaah!], and Von Doodlesdorf's foot just kept on flying right of the side of the mountain, and he was flat on his back once again! But this time, he wasn't getting up!
"Get up, Von Doodlesdorf, get up" yelled Bobbie Jo and I, but alas! Von Doodledorf was down for the count, at the base of the mountain, under this neon sign, which said:
"GAME OVER, INSERT COIN!"