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Sir Websolot's Songbook.
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Get to Know Broken Bow.

Fellow Toastmasters, and Honored Guests;
I have a brother who at one time was the Pastor of the Presbyterian Church, in Broken Bow, NE. Once, when I was visiting my brother in Broken Bow, NE; I picked up this T-shirt which says:
Paris, France.
Rome, Italy.
London England.
& Broken Bow, Nebraska.
And as skeptic eyes are popping out at me from all over the roo, they all seem to be conveying the same message. That quite possibly Broken Bow, Nebraska shouldn't be ranked with these other cities. Well, I just found out the Topic of Today's Speech. It's all a matter of getting to know some juicy facts--"Getting to Know, Broken Bow.
First off, not only is Broken Bow the County Seat of Nebraska, it is the Business Hub of the entire Nebraska Sandhills Area. I mean, where else in the Sandhills of Nebraska are you going to find a Five & Dime Store, a Jack & Jill Supermarket, and a Pizza Hut? And take that first city on the list--Paris, France. That city is always bragging about how great it is because of that fresh, perfumic smell that travels throughout the streets of Paris, and all given off by those beautiful French Madamoiselles. My only reply to that is "BIG STINKING DEAL!" You can market and distribute that smell in bottles all over the world if you want to. And, people do that too. So, how can you compare that with the fresh and fragrent smell that travels through the streets, and over the entire town of Broken Bow, Nebraska; when the wind shifts, over at the cattle stockyards. Market and distribute THAT in bottles all over the world! I assure you, you are destined to fail.
And, probably think these other cities are so great because of their Airports which serve the cities so well. The Varsity Track Squad at Broken Bow High School have never launched a complaint about how well The
Broken Bow Municipal Airport serves their city; nor in my humble opinion, are they likely to do so in the near future. Track Season in Broken Bow is also Thunderstorm Season. Following a severe thunderstorm, the track is all muddy and unsuitable for practice. That's where the Broken Bow Municipal Airport comes in. The airport always lets the track squad use the runway/landing strip to hold practice, following a thunderstorm, because it is made out of concrete. And, the Board of Directors of the Broken Bow Municipal Airport are gracious enough to let the track squad use their runway/landing strip even during their busiest time, on account of there are no planes landing, or taking off from Broken Bow Municipal Airport.
And you probably think that these other three cities are far superior, because of their lavish Hotel Facilities. When I was in Broken Bow, I stayed at the Arrow Hotel in Downtown, and it was nice--very nice. And now, you are probably thinking "Well the Hotels in these other three cities have Room Service. Does the Arrow Hotel have Room Service?" Ha! Ha! Does the Arrow Hotel Have Room Service?" Ah ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! "Hello, this is Bill Baxter up in Room 224. Please send the Hall Bathroon Key up here on the double. Thank you very much, and good bye."
Finally, you are probably thinking that these other three cities are far superior because of their large Convention Centers. Well, you probably think you have me there, because Broken Bow doesn't have a Convention Center. But, Broken Bow does not need a Convention Center. They have The Custer County Courthouse, where hundreds of people have convened there in the cellar at various times. And they all gather together down in that cellar whenever they hear that quain whistle blowing in the Downtown Area. [beep! beep! beep-beep, beep! beep-beep-beep, beep beep beep beep beep]. That is "Musical Morris Code for "GET OFF THE STREET YOU FATHEAD! THERE'S A TORNADO COMING!"
So, there you have it. All the cards are on the table. So, before you look at this T-shirt with any degree of skepticism, you must first get to know the facts. GET TO KNOW, BROKEN BOW!
Mr. Toastmaster.